Chapter 381

What is the story Ivan wants to talk about alone with me?

While Shaden and Damian politely observed etiquette, they wanted to get closer to Ruben, and Jenny unreservedly shared this and that private conversation with Ruben and added her words to Ruben’s political views. Marianne took care of Ruben like treating a friendly neighborhood older brother, and Benjamin let Ruben into his surroundings without specifically guarding against him.

Therefore, Ivan was the guy who distanced himself from Ruber the most among those close to me.

Even though he hung out with me since the Academy days and was present in the same place as Ruben many times, Ivan Holmes never specifically initiated conversation with Ruben or hung out with him.

At that time I didn’t specifically pay attention to it, but coming to it now, I thought perhaps he was being careful keeping in mind that the child would form a tie with the Eldos family. Since Eldos was a merchant family that barely maintained its lineage by marrying those holding non-hereditary peerages for generations, it could be that they specifically didn’t want to get entangled with Ruben and get involved in the political board.

However, here in Yulan, Ivan came to find us first. He offered advice and help we needed while demanding a price for it. I was troubled not knowing if he was trying to declare to me that he would entirely take the 2nd Prince’s side, or if he intended to give me a heads-up to be careful about something.

However, as soon as Ivan entered the reception room Ruben informed us of and closed the door, he said something completely unexpected.

“Why is that person still in that state?”

“…What?”

“I mean Prince Ruber. More than enough time has passed for a foal to become a fine steed, so why still…”

I was dumbfounded. Unable to sit or stand, I blankly looked at Ivan. The guy looked me up and down once, then placed his gaze on the corner of the ceiling as if thinking about something. Did about enough time pass to count to three, the guy faced me directly again.

“By any chance, Michael. Does Prince Ruber not look like a such-and-such target to you?”

“What, what does that mean?”

“When you are young, you might not be able to distinguish between human liking and sexual liking, so it could be like that; but right now Michael is already eighteen years old. If you’re not going to date him, and also have no thoughts of marriage, you shouldn’t have dragged the Prince all the way here.”

“…Ah, no…. No, that’s.”

“Since Michael is a Knight aspirant, it’s fine for you to roam the entire continent and undergo Knight training. Knight training is an incredible spec, and even if you don’t join the Imperial Palace Knight Order, currently the Young Count of Ehrenhart is robust. Until Michael receives the Count title, it’s fine for Michael to travel freely. However, Prince Ruber is not.”

“….”

“In the Cieron Empire, most of those who haven’t married past the age of twenty-five are only mages, spirit summoners, and researchers. Nobles with decent peerages no longer enter the marriage market. If you’re not going to date him, it’s right to send him to the capital now and let him find another woman or man.”

I was at a loss for words.

I…. I saw Ruben say it was fine with his own mouth several times, and cherish me with his gaze, gestures, and actions; so I became greedy. I kept Ruben attached by my side a bit more, and intended to make him mine if the child’s heart didn’t change even after spending time like this.

But was that something I shouldn’t do? Was it after all the right thing to separate Ruben far away in the capital, and still hope the child’s heart wouldn’t change?

Even though the me right now doesn’t have the confidence to count the nights without Ruben.

“Honestly, what help is the Prince in undergoing Knight training? Michael became a Sword Master even before graduating, it’s the same for the spirit matter this time. Is it right to make the Prince directly face such threats?”

What help is Ruben in the things I do?

Wrong, the child was of very great help to me.

If it weren’t for Ruben, I would have dashed to the holy site of the Sun with an awkwardly attached arm. I might have still lost my way and been wandering the Indus Canyon. I would have remained as an evil demon unsuited for this continent, just as my true nature is, merely cutting down what’s in front of my eyes and howling.

However, thinking if this journey is meaningful to Ruben too, it is doubtful again.

If I execute the ninth god, the Cieron Empire will be peaceful. That is a clear benefit for Ruben too.

…But the words that I shouldn’t drag Ruben around on a dangerous path… sounded right. It might have been a bit better to command other Knights with superior skills than Ruben. If I just, just use a little more strength….

There were other words that turned my insides upside down more than the words that I was doing a great wrong to Ruben.

If I send Ruben to the capital now…. the child might find another mate.

I was so dumbfounded as if I had been slapped on the cheek. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] It was a matter I had thought about multiple times before too. And yet it only felt real after hearing it from another guy’s mouth. I was exceedingly anxious and distressed, making my insides boil fiercely.

Ivan continued speaking in a cool voice.

“If you really don’t know, try kissing him at least once. I started like that too.”

“…That’s.”

“…Did you do that too?”

“…Yes.”

The gaze stings.

Unconsciously, I turned my body half away. Wanting to avoid Ivan’s gaze, I broke out in a cold sweat.

Ivan, who narrowed his eyes and examined my appearance, strode over first and plopped down on the reception room sofa. I stood rooted to the spot feeling like I was being punished, and only when the guy gestured did I barely approach the sofa and sat facing Ivan.

I watched out of the corner of my eye Ivan continuously stroking under his chin with one hand. It felt like I committed a very great wrong. No, even so, am I Ruben, must I be a sinner in front of Ivan? As soon as I raised my head with that thought, the guy shouted.

“What exactly is the problem?”

“….”

How should I talk about this?

Since I got caught by the other friend guys, I thought I should let this guy know the fact that I am a reincarnator too. But my lips wouldn’t part. Even if the other guys were like whatever, didn’t Ivan pack a pink booklet saying I needed education fitting my age and say all sorts of things.

Hesitating for a long time, I barely opened my mouth.

“…If I say we are in a certain kind of relationship…. The child will have things he wants from me more than now.”

“That’s obvious.”

“I, before marriage….”

“…Does Prince Ruber look like someone who wouldn’t even keep premarital chastity for you? He shouldn’t be.”

“I.”

A hot breath burst out and heat rose to the top of my head. I covered my face with both hands and buried my body deeply in the sofa. My waist automatically bent forward. Not knowing what kind of face I was making right now, I couldn’t shamelessly keep my face up.

“…Yes?”

“I, don’t have confidence. I too only realized this time that I am such a beast-like bastard.”

“…Ah.”

I truly thought I was saying all sorts of things, but again, I couldn’t endure it without vomiting it out. It was a sincere feeling boiling inside like that. The words scraped and pulled up from the deepest part of my middle dantian made me feel nauseous the more I chewed on them.

“Moreover, just like Ivan said, what do I do if Ruben’s heart really changes? If he says he wants to marry a woman and have a child, right now, yeah, the me before saying let’s date would be able to at least pretend to smile. But after Ruben has already become mine once…. I don’t know what I would do.”

“…What would you do?”

“I am strong, aren’t I? Even now I possess high skills among Sword Masters, and if I train a bit more I think I could even become a Grand Sword Master…. If I impulsively, by any chance even by mistake kidnap the guy, or do something I shouldn’t do, then. Who would stop me…”

“…Ah ah.”

Then Ivan’s voice suddenly lightened. He relaxed the strength he had put into his neck as if trying to scare me, and also relaxed the strength in his tightly clasped hands. He pointlessly clenched and unclenched his hands a couple of times, then returned to his usual expression, straightened his shoulders upright, and sat in a proper posture.

“If it’s that, then it’s fine. Well, Michael just Michael-ed. The fruit in high places is sweeter, so the Prince will have to figure it out and endure. I will take Michael’s side.”

“…That means.”

“Just carry him around with you.”

“…What?”

Look at this guy speaking comfortably because it’s not his matter. Somehow flaring up, I glared at the guy through my fingers.

However, Ivan looked truly relieved. The guy scanned the surroundings and found the tea set prepared in every reception room. Teaware equipped with an artifact that can fill and heat water, allowing one to enjoy tea without calling an attendant, was an item of Cieron.

The guy pointed at the teacup keeping his index finger straight. Swallowing a sigh, I immediately raised my Qi and pulled it over along with the tray. It wasn’t even funny how he was making full use of it having seen me become able to do psychokinesis merely once.

Ivan silently brewed the tea fitting the etiquette, a comfortable silence pooled for a moment. Even though we met after a few years had passed, it felt as familiar as if we were sitting in the side room of the Academy library. After staying quiet for a long time, my agitated heart also settled down.

Doing so, there was something else I was curious about.

“That, the words ‘that state’… what does that mean?”

“That state?”

“Earlier, you asked why Ruber is still in that state….”

Ivan briefly closed his mouth. Spending time fitting the fingertips of his right hand one by one with the fingertips of his left hand as if trying to figure out what to say. I didn’t take my eyes off those fingertips. Just like Ruben’s hands, deep traces of holding a pen remained on the guy’s lean hands.

“…He looked a bit, anxious.”

“Ruben did?”

“Yes. The Prince, Michael, and me. We were together like this, the three of us, but him not being able to take his eyes off Michael, not me…. Of course, it can be like that when Michael is speaking. But it’s a bit awkward when the speaker is me.”

“…Mm.”

“If it were the early stages of dating where you two can’t take your eyes off each other because you like each other so much just by looking at faces, or if the Prince’s expression was a bit softer and more affectionate, I wouldn’t have worried about this. But honestly, even granting that it was like that at the Academy, isn’t it strange for the Prince now to be wary of me?”

“…Wary, you say?”

“Yes. As if trying to gauge how much Michael likes me.”

“….”

It was an unexpected statement. Greatly surprised, I was at a loss for words. Ivan didn’t continue his next words. I couldn’t know if he swallowed the rest of what he had to say or if he was trying to give me time to think.

Afraid of what sound would come out of Ivan’s mouth, I asked something else.

“…What do you mean again that Ivan too, started like that?”

“Ah. It means I started with a kiss too. It was the fault of the other party that my spouse was changed, wasn’t it? Because of that, every time he saw me he would fret and feel sorry, so it seemed the spouse was treating me only as a boss at work, not as a partner to marry.”

“…So?”

Ivan rarely changed his expression. The guy, still with a neat expression, took a sip of his share of tea water and continued speaking. His voice was fresh, but the content of those words was not light in the slightest.

“From the day we promised marriage, we met once a month, had moderate and romantic dates, and kissed once every time we parted. From the third time, the spouse also became conscious of me and nervous, and as a result, things worked out well.”

“….”

“So these days too, I am kissing him whenever a chance arises. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] Since it seems he is being excessively conscious of the fact that he himself is a man.”

“….”

Come to think of it, this guy also hugged his spouse and did such a thing inside the carriage. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] I definitely had in mind to press and ask, but looking at this shameless face, it’s hard to part my lips.

“Why are you looking at me with those eyes? I waited patiently until the first night too.”

“….”

“Michael and my cases are different. While Michael is in the situation of a dog waiting with a chunk of meat placed in front of him, I was in a position looking down at just an empty rice bowl right away.”

“….”

“Since you became a domesticated beast you can’t bite and tear your master, so acting coquettishly is right.”

In the first year I got to know this guy, since this guy was taciturn and had few words, I thought he was a very shy guy. That was not the case at all. I truly misjudged the person. When did he become such a sly and lewd man sitting here. There was no way to know if the child grew up crookedly or if he was originally this kind of guy.

With an astounded face, I filled my teacup with sugar cubes. After coming to this land of Yulan, unless I was together with Ruben, I didn’t specifically eat sweet things. But right now my insides were burning and the tip of my tongue was bitter so I couldn’t endure it.