Chapter 337

A ‘me’ that I don’t know is inside there.

I have lived as Michael Ehrenhart for a dozen years. I had cute and pretty relatives, exchanged friendly memories with numerous close friends, and harbored romantic feelings toward a beautiful child.

In my past life, as a chivalrous warrior, I killed hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands. Just as people of this land cut down monsters, I cut down villains and casually pondered that day’s meal and taught children. The current me is afraid of the past me.

What if there are even more terrifying things hidden that I don’t know about.

Does such a ‘me’ have the right to laugh, chatter, and be happy.

While I was hesitating, the god’s hand holding the marble shook up and down, urging me.

“Yeah. Is the explanation lacking? It really is yours. Just looking at the color, ‘this is exactly me!’ Doesn’t that feeling come to you?”

“…”

“How would I have known the name Jeongyeon? I knew because this told me. Honestly, there are so many people on the continent now that I can’t memorize things like names.”

“…”

“No, what more do you need? It got slightly torn while forcibly crossing over. I’m telling you it’s not a bad thing?”

Just around the time the god was about to suddenly burst into anger, Ruben spoke up in a calm voice on my behalf.

“…Does he absolutely have to take it? Well, you said it was fierce, so I thought it might be dangerous or…”

“Aah. Ah! Ah, afraid it might be dangerous? No. It being fierce doesn’t mean it’s bad… This is a heterogeneous Mana that has the same method as our world but a different origin, you see. If left alone, it keeps wanting to return to its original world, but it hasn’t been long since I closed the rift, so I’m worried the world might tear again.”

“…After it merges?”

“After it has already merged, the current him is heavier, so it can’t do that. He has already dragged in and swallowed a lot of Mana from this side, so it will be fine. I need to handle this quickly and go help my sister too. I’ve dragged the time for too long.”

So, there was no way not to accept it.

Saying the world would tear again, what am I supposed to do if I cross back over to my original world because of that. Clenching my teeth, I extended my hand. The god, with a light attitude as if passing off something very annoying, firmly placed the marble in my hand and made me close my hand to grasp it.

The sensation of something throbbing and bouncing up from the small sphere was vivid. The inside of my hand felt numb.

“Yeah, swallow it just like that. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] After swallowing it, you just need to draw in exactly that amount of Mana more.”

“…Mana…”

“Yeah, you know that thing you do? Qi Cultivation? Do that once.”

Among the guys looking at me with worried eyes and the mercenaries unable to hide their puzzled and flustered expressions, I sat down. Ruben’s gaze was landing straight on my cheek.

Even if I become a different person, will I still be able to receive this gaze just as it is.

I am afraid, so afraid.

I put the blue marble in my mouth. It felt like swallowing a nasty elixir. As soon as it touched the tip of my tongue, I felt the lump of Qi melting stickily and closed my eyes. Sitting with my hands on both knees, I slowly circulated my Qi once.

The saying that it originated from me seemed to be true.

As if it naturally should have been so, the marble melted without a trace inside my body.

……

And nothing happened.

It was no different from just waking up in the morning, doing Qi Cultivation once, and getting up. What changed? Is there anything new I came to know? No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn’t tell. I opened my eyes.

“…Ah, ahem.”

I tried making a sound. This too… doesn’t seem like anything changed.

“What’s wrong?”

The god asked.

“…It seems nothing, has changed.”

“Noo, I’ve been telling you since earlier. You just regained what was yours, so what could be the problem?”

“But didn’t you say I lost something?”

At that, the god laughed heartily and said.

“You know that friend who carried a fan around. Do you remember? The one wearing a funny hat and acting cheeky.”

“…Zhuge Heon? Why him…”

“What do you mean why, your soul fragment kept chattering loudly about it.”

Uh.

Ah.

…Ah!

Only now did I realize what I had forgotten. No, I had even forgotten the fact that I had forgotten.

It was just this?

That Pang Juhyuk guy, even past forty, not bathing in the stream because he was embarrassed about his Mongolian spot, was a memory I’d rather forget. What sword that Murong Jin guy used, how he lived, and when he died, I remembered even before regaining this soul fragment. Zhuge Heon following Murong Yeonhwa around every day like a shadow, feigning ignorance and whining behind her back, is something I couldn’t forget even if I tried.

I remembered all the facial features, ways of speaking, and events we shared together with my close friends, so what’s the big deal about remembering a few more characters of their names. I had even died once and been born again. What need is there to go out of my way to remember and call the names of guys who are already all dead and buried.

As long as I hadn’t forgotten their existence itself, wasn’t that enough?

You’re saying all that happened is a few characters of the names of the friends I was close to in my past life came to mind.

Relieved, a laugh completely escaped me. It was very funny.

The me before finding the lost piece and the me now are perfectly the same person. Just in case, I looked back at Ruben. Seeing the child with an exceedingly resolute and serious face made a corner of my chest feel ticklish.

Wanting to soothe him, I brushed myself off, stood up, and placed my hand on the child’s shoulder once.

Ruben didn’t hesitate and threw himself into my embrace. I accepted the child hugging my waist and clinging to me, but the eyes of the group members watching were embarrassing and shameful, so I drew in a sharp breath. Still, I was purely happy.

Until I saw the child’s gaze trembling shallowly, that is.

Why?

“…What… changed?”

Am I the only one who thinks nothing changed?

Looking closely now, the gazes of the children around us were all suspicious. While Ruben buried his head deep into my shoulder and wouldn’t let go, Marianne, who was scrutinizing my face thoroughly, let out a shallow exclamation.

“Haa…”

“…What is it, on earth.”

That answer was given by Hugh Benson.

“You… seem to have suffered a bit in life?”

“Pardon?”

“No, your face is exactly the same, but how can you look so different just because your expression soured a bit.”

“…Pardon?”

My expression?

At that, various voices also emerged from among the mercenaries. Amidst the talk of ‘he changed,’ ‘he didn’t change,’ Anne’s intrigued voice struck my ears most clearly.

“No, I don’t see it. Even now, if you just put a flower crown on him, he sparkles so much the word ‘fairy’ would pop out automatically. It’s just the same as usual, isn’t it just his expression that got a bit serious?”

“Michael’s expression was never like that originally! He was always smiling warmly, every single day!”

Marianne quickly retorted. At a glance, she even looked indignant. As the girl firmly clenched her fists and shook them up and down, Giselle, who stepped half a pace aside to avoid getting hit, laughed heartily and asked.

“That right now is not a warm expression?”

“No! That is a ‘Hoo…’ kind of expression!”

“I’m sorry, but I have absolutely no idea what has changed.”

Leon raised both hands high in a gesture of surrender and stepped back.

What is this talk again?

Greatly startled, I covered my lower face with the arm not hugging Ruben.

Come to think of it, strength had drained from Ruben’s hand gripping my waist. His face was fully saturated with a disappointed expression too. No, I am the same, but you say your love cools just because my expression changed a bit.

How could this child do this to me? I wondered if I should practice facial expressions again. I couldn’t remember if I had packed a mirror for the journey, so I was extremely anxious.

At that time, Ruben whispered in my ear.

“…Was it someone you liked?”

“Pardon?”

“The one you said carried a fan around…”

“Nonsense! The only person I have loved in my entire life is Ruben,”

…Oops.

Greatly alarmed, I shouted loudly and then cut myself off. Seeing the eyes looking this way all widening roundly, heat rose to my face.

Ruben, startled by the loud voice, smiled sweetly and hugged my waist tightly once again. Until just before, I thought it was nice because it was warm, but now it was intolerably hot and I felt suffocated. I couldn’t lift my head.

With a lowered gaze, I was counting the weeds on the ground when Benjamin’s voice, who had been silent the whole time, struck my head heavily.

“…Nothing has changed, nothing.”

…It’s a truly fortunate thing, but I was so ashamed I bit my tongue hard.

The one who stopped the god, who said he was now going to do what he had to do, was Hugh Benson. How much he had torn at it while I was briefly circulating my Qi, the guy’s thin hair was fully frizzy and standing on end as if a cow had licked it. However, his expression and tone were exceedingly serious.

“So, um… Is that sister you have to help now, the First Goddess?”

“Ah, I suppose so?”

“We have… nothing to help with? [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] You’re saying you called us just to give that? Really?”

“Yeah. So, I told them to just bring Jeongyeon briefly, but he didn’t listen. Still, it’s thanks to our Nadi and the Sylph that you survived. I’ve been stuck here for years holding onto just that…”

Elwin, who received a stinging glare from the god, shamelessly replied with something.

“No, did I tell you to kidnap him! You should have persuaded him, persuaded!”

Blankly watching a few words of trivial jokes being exchanged, I cooled the heat on my cheeks.

It was then that Ruben, who had been hugging me for a long time, lifted his head. I felt with my whole body that the guy’s heart, which had been beating wildly, had calmed down. The guy pondered for a long time, looked at me once, looked at the god once, and only then let me go and stood straight.

What is he trying to say?

The gazes of the chattering children also gathered one by one.

Waiting for everyone to quiet down, Ruben asked carefully.

“By any chance, are you thinking of going now… to save the people the ninth god took?”

“Huh? That would be a bit difficult.”

The god answered lightly without a hint of hesitation. The expressions of the children, who had been laughing and chattering, stiffened instantly. However, whether we were surprised or not, the god still had a radiantly smiling face. Ruben asked again.

“Are they perhaps, all already dead…?”

“No? That’s not it. The youngest is trying to steal souls from another world right now, you see. To open the passage, he has to burst the energy all at once, so right now he’s just gathering it. He’ll probably hold out for another year or two?”

“Then, then will the god…”

“Yeah. No, there’s something you’re a bit mistaken about.”

The god raised his index finger and scratched his cheek.

That action looked just like a living person. However, that beautiful sculpture that didn’t blink once or breathe once was just something existing in that place. Unlike us, whose emotions fluctuated with his words, he continued speaking with a playful smile from beginning to end.

“Creations naturally die. I’m just trying to stop the youngest from stealing souls from another world and smashing this world itself; it’s not like I want him to just cry and do nothing inside it either.”

“…”

“If you want to save the captured guys, you guys have to do it. Even if I save them, they won’t even live a hundred years, so why would I?”

Elwin said something.

The god laughed loudly and replied cheerfully.

“That’s right, He-surt. That is our destiny. Gods help gods, humans help humans, and monsters help monsters. Let’s handle our own matters by ourselves.”