Chapter 45: I’m Sorry

With tacit understanding, the two turned into that hotel at the end of the alley together. The lights in the lobby were warm and toasty. As soon as they entered the door, Shen Yu’s wrist was grabbed by Lu Zhiyan. His footsteps staggered slightly. Before he had time to react, he was dragged and bumped into the elevator.

There were only the two of them in the cabin. The space was so narrow it made even breathing become scalding hot. Lu Zhiyan’s gaze was glued to Shen Yu’s lips. The feelings that had been suppressed all the way from the mall until now were like a rising tide, finally overflowing the dam of reason.

With a “Ding”, the elevator doors opened. Lu Zhiyan dragged him and quickly walked into the room. The instant he backhandedly locked the door, the entire world was isolated outside.

Before the soft click of the lock falling into place could dissipate, Shen Yu pre-emptively flipped him around. Both arms tightly encircled his waist. Lowering his head slightly, he proactively kissed him.

This kiss came catching him off guard. It was the longing accumulated and suppressed over countless days and nights finally completely breaking the dam at this moment. His lips carried a slight tremble, yet were so firm they brooked no dodging. All those concerns, grievances, and unbelievable wild joys hidden in silence were thrown head and brain into Lu Zhiyan’s breath all at once.

Lu Zhiyan’s entire person abruptly stiffened, his pupils contracting slightly, almost unable to believe it.

In the next second, he locked his grip on Shen Yu’s waist as if having lost control. Reversing their positions, he violently spun the person around, pressing him dead-tight against the door panel, kissing him surgingly and scaldingly. His fingertips embedded deeply into the other’s soft hair. Their lips and teeth lingered and ground together, viciously kneading the love suppressed for many years, the panic of recovering what was lost, the bone-eroding remorse, and the paranoia of never wanting to let go again, all into this scalding, deep kiss.

After an unknown amount of time, the kiss barely came to a stop. The two rested their foreheads together, panting heavily. Their warm breaths intertwined, blurring out a layer of ambiguous white mist in the air.

Lu Zhiyan looked at the doting deep in Shen Yu’s eyes. His Adam’s apple bobbed heavily. Immediately after, he took his hand and walked step by step to sit on the edge of the bed. A small piece of the mattress sank down. The moonlight outside the window filtered through the sheer curtains, casting mottled light and shadows on the floor. With their ten fingers interlocked, neither of them spoke, merely quietly drowning in this patch of silent tenderness.

“I’m going back to Beicheng tomorrow.”

Ultimately, it was Lu Zhiyan who spoke first. His voice carried the hoarseness after a kiss, the trailing end trembling gently.

The air fell silent for a moment.

Shen Yu’s hand gripping his violently tightened, his knuckles turning white, but he quickly loosened his strength again. With his head lowered, looking at their interlocked fingertips, his voice was as light as a feather:

“Okay, I’ll see you off tomorrow.”

The reluctance in that tone was like a fine needle gently pricking Lu Zhiyan’s heart. He turned his head sideways, looking at Shen Yu’s lowered eyelashes. Long, like two little fans, casting faint shadows beneath his eyes. He tightened the force of their interlocked fingers. The temperature of their pressed palms was so hot it made one’s eye sockets turn sour.

“Are you unhappy?”

Lu Zhiyan leaned closer, the tip of his nose rubbing past Shen Yu’s cheek. His voice was soft into an absolute mess, “Blaming me for leaving so soon?”

Shen Yu violently raised his eyes to look at him. His pupils contracted slightly, as if his mind had been seen through, and he hurriedly shook his head. His dark eyes reflected his silhouette, earnest enough to make one’s heart ache:

“No.”

He paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and added softly, “I am very happy you could come. Beicheng to Haicheng is so far… Next time you miss me, just give me a call, I will come find you.”

You don’t need to rush about.

The second half of the sentence wasn’t spoken, yet it was like a rock smashing heavily onto Lu Zhiyan’s heart. A sour, painful feeling instantly spread, from his heart to his four limbs and hundreds of bones, even making his fingertips tremble.

He looked at Shen Yu’s deep and handsome brows and eyes, looked at the unhideable caution deep in his eyes. The tip of his nose turned sour, and the words that blurted out carried heavy remorse.

“A’Yu, I’m sorry about the past.”

“It’s all my fault.”

Shen Yu was stunned, as if he didn’t dare believe his own ears. He stared blankly at Lu Zhiyan. The depths of his eyes were full of shock, even forgetting to breathe.

Lu Zhiyan’s voice grew even lower, carrying a choked nasal tone. Word by word, it landed clearly in the air:

“I’m sorry, in the past I was always hot and cold toward you, relying on your love for me to recklessly squander your sincere heart. I’m sorry, those messy bedmate relationships made you suffer grievances. I’m sorry, I was always afraid to face my own heart squarely, stubbornly pretending to be cynical, and hurting you so deeply.”

He slowly leaned closer, his forehead resting against Shen Yu’s. The earnestness in his gaze almost overflowed:

“A’Yu…”

“My baby…”

“I love you.”

These three words were like a clap of thunder that had brewed for an entire youth, violently exploding at the bottom of Shen Yu’s heart. His eye sockets instantly turned red.

Lu Zhiyan’s fingertips gently caressed his cheek, the pad of his finger brushing past his reddened corner of the eye.

“A’Yu, I don’t want to be some bedmate with you anymore. I just want to properly be together with you, be an official couple, okay?”

The grievances, longing, and expectations accumulated over so many years crashed down all at once at this moment. Shen Yu looked at Lu Zhiyan’s peach blossom eyes, which had originally always been full of carelessness, but right now were entirely filled with his silhouette, impossibly earnest. Warm tears finally couldn’t be held back, sliding down his cheeks and smashing onto the backs of their interlocked hands, astonishingly scalding hot.

With eyes full of heartache, Lu Zhiyan gently wiped away his tears with his thumb. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] Then he gently leaned closer, kissed the corner of his eye, kissing away that scalding hot tearfulness. The touch of lips brushing against skin was so real it burned. Shen Yu’s wet eyelashes fluttered gently. It was quite a while before he softly opened his mouth. His voice was choked beyond recognition, carrying unbelievable bewilderment and a trace of cautious deliberation:

“Am I… am I dreaming?”

Lu Zhiyan’s heart felt as if it had been ruthlessly wrung by this sentence, aching sourly. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] He tilted his head up and kissed Shen Yu’s forehead, then kissed past his slightly reddened tip of the nose, and finally landed on his lips. Gently lingering and pecking for quite a while before separating slightly, his gaze looked at that person gently. His voice was low, hoarse, and firm:

“It’s not a dream.”

“A’Yu…”

He rested against his forehead, every single word incomparably clear, “I won’t be afraid of what others say anymore, nor will I be afraid of those discriminatory gazes, and I certainly won’t be afraid of any threats of exposure. I am not afraid of anything, I only want to be together with you forever.”

This sentence was like a surging tide, completely washing away Shen Yu’s last thread of caution. He could no longer hold back. Reaching out, he tightly embraced Lu Zhiyan, violently pressing him onto the soft, large bed, leaning down and kissing him forcefully. Between their pressing lips and teeth was the madness of recovering what was lost—gentle yet paranoid, lingeringly affectionate yet domineering.

His fingertips trembled, caressing every inch of the skin on Lu Zhiyan’s back. His movements were so light they were almost pious. Every single touch was heavy and scalding hot, carrying the unspoken love of an entire youth.

Moonlight filtered through the sheer curtains, spilling onto their entangled silhouettes, outlining gentle contours. The cold wind outside the window gradually fell silent. The room was left with only each other’s breathing, and the unsuppressible moans of passionate love, gentle and tenderly affectionate.

“Ah…”

Lu Zhiyan thrust his fingertips deeply into Shen Yu’s fine, soft hair, feeling his gentle yet dominant thrusting within his body. Stroke after stroke, every stroke violently crashed into his soul, impacted his internal organs, and penetrated deep into his marrow, “Baby, ah! A’Yu… A’Yu… love me, love me… Mmph!”

The sensitive and tender soft flesh of the inner walls was fully caressed and ground. Shen Yu stared at him with a heavy gaze from beginning to end. The scalding hot, swelling love at the bottom of his heart almost overflowed, scalding every inch of the skin of the person beneath him until it was dyed an extremely enticing pale pink.

“Ahhhhh! I can’t take it! A’Yu! Ah… So good! So damn good! I want to cum! Mmph! I want to cum! I’m begging you! Quick, fuck me until I cum! Fuck me until I cum! Ah—!”

Lu Zhiyan wailed wantonly, lost in passion. He instantly felt the soft flesh at the very deepest part being crashed open even faster and more violently by that person. Every single stroke scaldingly and meticulously ground against that sensitive little protrusion of his. His voice trembled crazily uncontrollably, the trailing ends stretching with sticky, enticing hoarseness, “Aaaaah! A’Yu! I’m going to cum! I’m going to cum—!”

The swollen sack abruptly contracted. Scalding white turbidity was entirely sprayed onto Shen Yu’s solid, taut abdominal muscles. Mixed with crystal-clear thin sweat, it slowly flowed down along the smooth muscle contours.

Lu Zhiyan, having been violently swept over by orgasm and love, panted heavily with an unfocused gaze. It was a good while before his eyes finally managed to refocus with great difficulty. He watched that person use his distinct-knuckled fingers to dip a bit of the flowing white turbidity from his abdominal muscles and put it to his lips. Under the hazy moonlight outside the window, he gently licked it. That appearance was simply bewitching and good-looking to the extreme.

The ferocity that had just surgingly released instantly stood up hard and hot again. Taking along the rear entrance and the soft flesh inside, it tangled around Shen Yu’s thick, searing heat inside his body even deeper and more enticingly.

“Is it good?”

He spoke hoarsely, his wet eyes entirely sending signals asking for a kiss.

In the next second, Shen Yu’s blazing kiss covered him. As the tips of their tongues pressed together wetly, the fishy, sweet, erotic taste continuously spread between their lingering and grinding lips and teeth. The two trembling points on his chest were gently kneaded and caressed by that person’s sticky fingertips dipped in love juices.

Fine, fragmented moans of love intermittently sneaked out from the lingering gaps between their lips. Every sound seemed to carry tiny, dense hooks, hooking one’s heart until it trembled and one’s blood boiled with lust.

It was a good while before Shen Yu finally gently let go of Lu Zhiyan’s lips, which had long been kissed until they were pink and slightly swollen. Both hands followed the smooth skin of that person seeping with thin sweat to caress his solid back. With an exertion of force, he picked the person up from the bed, letting him violently sit onto his crotch following the weight of his body.

Lu Zhiyan was made to tremble violently all over by this sour, swollen, crisp, and sharp deep copulation. A startled cry had just reached his throat when it was fucked by Shen Yu’s even more crazily deep stabbing into the whimpering, wailing moans only let out when feeling good to the extreme.

“Ah! Aaaaah! So deep! Ah! Aaaaah— So comfortable! Ah—! A’Yu! It feels too good! You’re so amazing! Aaaaah! Ah!”

Lu Zhiyan’s wails were thrust into pieces, his body uncontrollably shaking and trembling in coordination with that person’s movements.

The tight, full butt cheeks were repeatedly kneaded and slapped by Shen Yu’s warm, broad palms. The sharp, slightly scalding sensation of pleasure stimulated him until his entire body grew hot. The dark red on his chest was once again wrapped in lips and teeth, being sucked and licked.

“I can’t take it, I can’t take it! I’m dying! I’m dying! I’m going to die—!”

Amidst a few deep and swelling thrusts, Lu Zhiyan once again screamed and climbed to the ultimate peak. His rear court continuously contracted and swallowed, welling up semi-transparent, slippery love juices, gently and erotically moistening the erect ferocity inside his body.

The thin sweat seeping out on his body reflected the cold, clear silver-gray outside the window, wrapping his continuously trembling young naked body, seemingly silently enticing the person before his eyes to give him even more caresses and fill him fiercely.

Before Lu Zhiyan could even withdraw from the afterglow of his orgasm, even more scalding hot, searing love surged toward him overwhelmingly…

” Aaaaah… A’Yu—!”

A night of madness, lingeringly affectionate depravity…