Chapter 52: Good Baby…

The night color gradually spread past the banks of the moat. Lu Zhiyan and Shen Yu said their goodbyes at the bus stop. The evening wind wrapped in threads of chill, blowing the halos of the streetlights to sway gently. The two had their fingertips entangled until the very last second. Only when the high beams of the bus pierced the night color did Lu Zhiyan reluctantly let go of his hand.

“Send a message when you get home.”

Shen Yu’s voice was wrapped in the wind, gentle yet heavy.

Lu Zhiyan nodded, watching the bus carry Shen Yu away. Only when the taillights melted into the lights of ten thousand homes did he turn around and walk homeward.

The sound-activated lights in the stairwell lit up in response. Just as he pushed open the door to his home, the sweet greasiness of sweet and sour pork ribs mixed with the fresh aroma of tomato and egg soup drilled into his nasal cavity.

Wearing an apron, Li Mei poked her head out of the kitchen, smiles carrying on the corners of her eyes and tips of her brows:

“You’re back? We were just waiting for you to start dinner.”

“Mhm!” Lu Zhiyan responded softly. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] While changing his shoes, he caught a glimpse of the dining table. Besides a few of his favorite dishes, there were also the green vegetables he and Shen Yu went to buy together at noon. Those were the tender choy sum Shen Yu had specifically picked out. Right now, they were lying quietly on the plate, like a little secret mark hidden between him and that person.

“I saw the choy sum in the kitchen, so I guessed you were back.”

Li Mei walked out of the kitchen carrying the soup, her tone gratified and intimate, “Not bad, my son has grown up, even knows how to help mom buy vegetables.”

“Mhm, Of course.”

Lu Zhiyan responded with a smile, the depths of his eyes entirely full of unhideable softness.

Steam swirled over the dining table. Lu Zhiyuan asked about his learning situation at the university, and Lu Zhiyan answered them one by one, even mentioning his plan to preview the professional courses for next semester in advance during the holiday.

Li Mei, however, suddenly changed the subject, picking up a piece of pork rib for him: “Yanyan, look at you, you’re already a sophomore, have you met any suitable girls around you?”

The hand Lu Zhiyan was using to pick up food violently paused. The pork rib in his mouth suddenly lost its flavor, he vaguely laughed it off:

“Mom, we’re eating, can we chat about something else? I’m only twenty.”

“Twenty is not that young anymore,” Li Mei was unrelenting, “Doesn’t dating take time? You have to get along for at least a year or half a year, right? There are many excellent girls in your school, try getting to know them. If it’s suitable, you can settle down upon graduation.”

Hearing this, Lu Zhiyuan said in a deep voice:

“The child’s studies are important. It is correct for Yanyan to prioritize his academics right now. First learn the skills, establish a career, then talk about feelings. A man must have a sense of responsibility to be able to protect someone; matters of feelings cannot be rushed.”

The topic stopped there, and a peaceful atmosphere was restored at the dining table. But Lu Zhiyan’s heart felt as if it were blocked by a piece of cotton; even the sweet, greasy food went down with a bit of astringency.

After the meal, he accompanied his parents to watch TV for a while. Li Mei was still muttering about the neighbor’s son bringing his girlfriend home. He made an excuse saying he was tired and fled back to his room.

The instant he closed the door, his taut nerves finally relaxed. He took out his phone, his fingertips quickly sending a text message to Shen Yu:

‘Are you free?’

An almost instantaneous reply: ‘What’s wrong?’

Lu Zhiyan stared at the screen, the tip of his nose suddenly turning sour. Even the hand typing trembled a bit:

‘Miss you, want to call.’

The message had just been sent when the other party’s call came in immediately. Lu Zhiyan’s heart trembled. Curving the corners of his lips, he pressed the answer button.

“A’Yan?”

Shen Yu’s voice drifted from the handset, low and magnetic enough to make the roots of one’s ears tingle, like a warm finger pad gently brushing past the auricle.

Lu Zhiyan’s eye sockets turned hot. The grievances and longing originally held in his heart instantly melted into a soft, mushy coquettishness at this soft call.

“My A’Yu…”

He walked to the window and leaned against the sill, his voice pressed light and sticky, “Good baby…”

Shen Yu obviously paused, then let out a low chuckle. The breathy sound transmitted close against the electric current, grinding against Lu Zhiyan’s eardrums and causing a burst of tingling numbness.

“Why the sudden name?”

“Just wanted to call you that.”

Lu Zhiyan’s fingertips unconsciously picked at the windowsill, his voice so soft it could drip water, “A’Yu, I miss you so much… miss you so much I can’t bear it.”

“I miss you too.”

Shen Yu’s voice was placed even lighter, almost a whisper. Lu Zhiyan could even hear the movement of him gently getting up and closing the door.

Just this one small movement instantly made the tip of Lu Zhiyan’s heart soften into a puddle of spring water.

“Baby…”

He dragged out his tone, deliberately teasing ambiguously, “My mom urged me to find a partner today.”

“Auntie Li is so anxious?” Shen Yu smiled, his tone carrying a bit of helpless indulgence, “Then how did you reply?”

“I replied that I’m not in a hurry.”

Lu Zhiyan bit his lip, his voice swaying gently, “But in my heart, I was thinking… I already have a partner.”

He paused. Word by word, he spoke lightly and earnestly:

“He looks especially good, has good grades, is gentle to me, comfortable to hug, and even softer to kiss… no one can compare.”

Shen Yu laughed lowly. His breathing sound transmitted through the handset, light and scalding hot:

“So good at praising people?”

“It’s the truth.”

Lu Zhiyan’s voice was slightly choked, yet he didn’t forget to continue teasing him, “It’s just a pity… still can’t tell Mom and Dad right now.”

Silent for a moment, Shen Yu softly called him, “A’Yan.”

“Mhm?”

“Are you afraid?”

Lu Zhiyan’s nose turned sour again, his tears almost falling right away. He wasn’t afraid. He only hated that right now he didn’t have the strength to protect the person he loved; otherwise, he would wish he could immediately tell the whole world that Shen Yu belonged to him.

“What am I afraid of? As long as I can be together with you, I’m not afraid of anything.”

I’m just afraid… afraid that I still can’t protect you.

Shen Yu didn’t speak, merely chuckling softly. The laughter in the handset was gentle and scalding hot, like a spring breeze brushing across the surface of a lake, making Lu Zhiyan’s heart tremble as he listened.

The two dawdled and chatted for a long time again, from the twice-cooked pork at noon to various trivial matters experienced in the university. Finally, they agreed once again to meet at the entrance of the city library at nine o’clock tomorrow morning.

When it was time to hang up the phone, Lu Zhiyan stubbornly refused to hang up first, “You hang up first…”

“…Okay, then I’ll hang up.”

“Wait!”

Lu Zhiyan hurriedly stopped him, his voice softening, carrying a coquettish meaning, the trailing end dragged out long, “Kiss me once before you hang up…”

The handset was silent for a moment. Very quickly, a “mwah” sound as light as a feather brushing past transmitted over, clear and scalding hot. Lu Zhiyan’s cheeks instantly burned up. He also kissed heavily against the microphone, dotingly saying:

“Bye-bye, see you tomorrow, come early, I’ll wait for you.”

“Mhm, see you tomorrow, be good, sleep early.”

“Be good your sister! Scram!”

Lu Zhiyan chuckled and retorted, his tone entirely full of doting and sweetness, “Hanging up.”

Hanging up the phone, Lu Zhiyan pressed the phone tightly against his chest, as if he could still feel the temperature transmitting from Shen Yu’s side through the ice-cold screen. That soft “mwah” just now was still replaying over and over again in his ears, softening him until his bones were almost crisp.

Moonlight shone in from outside the window, falling onto the reddened tips of his ears, burning terribly.

He turned his head to look at the night color outside the window, as calm as ink. He took several deep breaths before barely managing to suppress the scalding hot, churning palpitation at the bottom of his heart. Then he turned around, walked quickly to the desk, opened the thick medical textbook, his fingertips tracing past the dense knowledge points, and began to study attentively, not feeling bored at all.

In the past, studying was for the future, to not let his parents be disappointed. But now, what he wanted was the confidence to thoroughly protect Shen Yu. He wanted to become even more excellent than before, to go to the best hospital to take up a post, to earn more money, to become sufficiently strong as early as possible.

Strong enough that one day, he could openly and honestly hold Shen Yu’s hand, stand in front of everyone, and tell the whole world—

This is the person I like, and I want to spend a lifetime with him.

He wanted to bring all the light to that person’s presence.

After a while, a soft knock came from outside the door. Li Mei walked in carrying a cup of warm milk. Seeing that he was still reading, she couldn’t help but rub his head:

“Why aren’t you sleeping yet? Don’t be too tired.”

“Mom, I’ll sleep right away.”

Lu Zhiyan looked up and smiled, the depths of his eyes clean and bright.

Looking at this earnest and motivated appearance of her son, Li Mei felt both gratified and heartache. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] After instructing a few words, she gently closed the door and left.

The room returned to quiet once again.

Lu Zhiyan finished drinking the milk, finished washing up, and read for a while longer before turning off the light and lying on the bed, yet he had no sleepiness at all.

He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, greedily breathing in the faint lemon scent remaining on it.

Clearly, he had only been separated from Shen Yu for three or four hours, yet the longing was like madly growing vines, tangling him until he was out of breath.

He remembered that phone call just now. Unable to resist, he slid open his phone again. His fingertips hovered over the keys, caressing it, wanting to press it yet hesitating whether to press it or not.

Actually, he hadn’t fooled around enough just now.

That little bit of soft, mushy itch at the bottom of his heart couldn’t be pressed down no matter what. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] Lu Zhiyan gritted his teeth and ultimately couldn’t hold back. With a light tap of his fingertip, he dialed the phone over again.

It hadn’t rung more than twice before it was answered on the other side. The extremely light sound of bedding rubbing transmitted through the handset, obviously Shen Yu had already lain down under the covers, yet still picked up his call at the very first moment.

“What’s wrong, A’Yan?”

That person’s voice was a bit hoarser than just now, carrying the laziness of having just lain down, light and soft.

Lu Zhiyan buried his face in the pillow, his voice muffled, yet wrapped in blatant teasing:

“A’Yu… are you also thinking of me?”

Shen Yu didn’t deny it, merely chuckling lowly. His breath transmitted through the electric current, scalding the roots of one’s ears numb:

“What else?”

That person’s frankness made his heart soften, yet he still couldn’t resist deliberately teasing him, “I thought you were just awake, that’s why you answered so quickly.”

“I am awake,” Shen Yu’s voice was placed extremely light, “Awake thinking of a certain someone, thinking absently. The moment the phone moved, I knew it was him.”

Lu Zhiyan was instantly teased until his heart trembled. He shrank back into the quilt, continuing to push his luck, his voice sticky and pulling threads:

“What part of me are you thinking of?”

Shen Yu took a light breath, helpless and indulgent, cursing “little badass” in a low voice, yet still went along with him:

“Thinking of the way you act coquettishly with me, thinking of the sound of your voice when you talk, thinking… we separated before I hugged you enough.”

This fluttering, light sentence, however, poked the heart more than any words of love.

Lu Zhiyan’s nose turned sour, sweet and itchy. He deliberately dragged out his tone, rubbing against the tip of his heart:

“Just thinking of these? Not thinking of anything else?”

Shen Yu was silent for a moment. His breathing slightly deepened, carrying a hoarseness from having no way to deal with his teasing:

“…If you keep teasing, I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“It’s just right if you don’t sleep,” he smiled, bad and soft, “Accompany me to chat, chat until dawn.”

“Have to go to the library to study tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is tomorrow, now is now,” he said with righteous confidence, “I don’t care, I haven’t fooled around enough.”

An extremely light, helpless sigh transmitted from the other end of the handset, yet wrapped full of doting. Only that person’s soft coaxing could be heard:

“Then what do you want, mhm?”

The corners of Lu Zhiyan’s mouth curved up. Satisfied, he leaned close to the microphone, his voice tangling up stickily:

“A’Yu… kiss me…”

Shen Yu let out a low chuckle. His breath was warm, soft, and doting. Landing gently through the electric current, almost pressing against the handset, he kissed soundlessly and lingeringly.

Lu Zhiyan was teased until his entire body went limp by this kiss that was so light it was almost non-existent. The tip of his heart followed suit and went numb in a patch, yet he still refused to let it go. Stickily tangling up once again, his tone entirely unsatisfied: “A’Yu… kisses.”

“…”

Shen Yu was helpless and amused, “Didn’t I just kiss you?”

“Doesn’t count.”

Lu Zhiyan was righteously confident, “You kissed too lightly just now, I didn’t hear it clearly. Must kiss out loud, must let me hear it.”

Shen Yu had no way to deal with him. He let out a helpless and doting sigh. An extremely soft sound of a kiss transmitted through the handset again, like a feather landing on the tip of the heart, hot and itchy.

Lu Zhiyan’s ears burned up with a “boom”, his entire body numb.

“Heard it?”

Shen Yu’s voice carried a smile.

“Didn’t hear it.”

Lu Zhiyan deliberately acted shamelessly, “Do it again.”

“Lu Zhiyan.”

Shen Yu called his full name helplessly, yet his tone didn’t have half a bit of blame, entirely overflowing gentleness.

“What.” He pushed his luck, his voice soft and enticing, “If you don’t kiss, I won’t hang up the phone.”

Shen Yu truly had no way to deal with him, landing a kiss lightly and softly.

This time, it was as clear as if directly imprinted beside his ear.

Lu Zhiyan was instantly elated, “Mhm~ My turn.”

As he spoke, he also gave a heavy, big kiss to the microphone, his voice loud and domineering.

“How can you be so good at making a fuss.”

Shen Yu was helpless and indulgent, “If you don’t sleep now, you won’t be able to get up tomorrow.”

“If I can’t get up, then you come wake me.”

Lu Zhiyan pushed his luck, “Kiss me awake.”

“…”

Shen Yu was teased until he had nothing to say, only able to coax in a low voice, “Stop making a fuss, be good.”

“Not good.”

Lu Zhiyan hummed, “Unless you say it again…”

“Say what?”

“Say you like me the most.”

Shen Yu chuckled softly, the gentleness in his voice almost overflowing through the handset, “I like you the most. Only like you.”

Only then did Lu Zhiyan feel satisfied, his tail about to point up to the sky, “Mhm~ This is more like it. Nine o’clock tomorrow, no being late.”

“Won’t be late.”

Shen Yu responded softly, “Sleep early, mhm?”

“Then you kiss me one more time, and I’ll sleep.”

Finally, it was another kiss so light it almost melted into the night color.

Only then did Lu Zhiyan reluctantly hang up the phone. Hugging his phone, he rolled around on the bed, the corners of his mouth unable to be pressed down no matter what.

The room was silent, with only the moonlight outside the window quietly flowing. But beside his ear, it was entirely Shen Yu’s voice—low, gentle, helpless, and doting.

He closed his eyes. His mind was full of that person’s appearance smiling gently at him, carrying a reassuring temperature.

First thing tomorrow morning, I will be able to see him.

Lu Zhiyan hugged his pillow, the corners of his mouth rising slightly, yet his heart abruptly twitched with pain without warning.

It wasn’t a sharp stabbing pain, but a sluggish, muffled pain, as if an ice-cold hand had quietly and abruptly clenched his heart tight. With a gentle squeeze, soreness and numbness wrapped in suffocation spread through his blood vessels to his entire body.

He violently stiffened, his breathing pausing half a beat. The pain wasn’t intense, only lasting for a brief instant before fading away. But that familiarity to the bone felt like a basin of ice water poured from the top of his head, instantly freezing all his joy.

It was that premonition of being dragged away.

The previous few times when the transmigration time limit was approaching, he also first experienced a burst of muffled pain like this, immediately followed by heart-rending agonizing pain, hurting until his entire body curled up, his consciousness dissipated, the world spun, and ultimately, he was forcefully dragged back to his original time and space.

Panic swept toward him like a pitch-black tide, instantly breaking through all of Lu Zhiyan’s psychological defenses, thoroughly drowning his entire person.

How could this happen? I’m clearly already dead, why would I still be dragged away? Could it be…

Lu Zhiyan simply didn’t dare to think deeply any further. The original time and space obviously couldn’t be returned to anymore, so what awaited him this time… was very likely only bone-piercingly cold death.

He dead-tightly gripped the bedding. His knuckles turned greenish-white from the exertion, and deep marks were pinched into his palms by his fingernails. He didn’t even dare to pant heavily, only crazily praying over and over again in his heart, again and again, carrying a desperate and heartbroken plea:

Please don’t take me away… don’t let me go…

It was so hard for me to finally return to A’Yu’s side, so hard to finally be able to embrace him again…

I haven’t properly loved him yet, haven’t made up for all I owe him yet, haven’t been able to openly and honestly hold his hand and walk under the sunlight yet, haven’t seen all of spring, summer, autumn, and winter with him yet, haven’t guarded and lived through an entire lifetime with him yet…

I cannot go.

I cannot leave him.

He kept his eyes dead open, not daring to close his eyes, not daring to fall asleep. This was the opportunity he had exchanged his life for, deeply afraid that if he closed his eyes, he would thoroughly dissipate at the end of the nothingness and darkness…

He wasn’t afraid of dying. What he was afraid of was that once he left, Shen Yu would fall back into that boundless darkness again. Afraid that the cowardly, selfish him, whose eyes only held his future and ambitions, would once again push that person into the abyss, hurting him, consuming him, and letting him down over and over again.

Afraid that Shen Yu, for his sake, would once again silently swallow countless grievances, burn out his very last trace of gentleness, and turn into a wisp of blue smoke, ultimately unable to leave behind even a little bit of comfort…

He could endure anything, except letting Shen Yu suffer for him again.

Scalding tears welled up in his eye sockets, blurring the ceiling lamp into a patch in the dimness. Lu Zhiyan just lay stiffly like that. His heart tightened in waves, and every slight muffled pain made his entire body tremble.

It wasn’t until the night color outside the window faded bit by bit, and a layer of pale fish-belly white struggled to rise on the horizon, that the muffled pain in Lu Zhiyan’s chest gradually dissipated, and his nerves, pulled tight to the extreme, finally relaxed by half a fraction. Just as he had slightly withdrawn from the extreme exhaustion and fear, he hazily fell into a deep slumber.