Chapter 46: The Best Future

At dawn the next day, as the sky began to lighten, the two woke up from their hazy slumber. Warm light filtered in through the sheer curtains, falling upon their tightly embracing figures and dyeing the bedding in a warm, gentle halo.

Shen Yu was the first to open his eyes. The tip of his nose brushed against the warm skin of Lu Zhiyan’s neck, and his breathing was filled with the faint scent of each other.

He couldn’t bear to move, merely raising his hand gently, his fingertips slowly caressing the lines of the other’s back. Lu Zhiyan was stirred by this subtle touch, letting out a soft hum. He burrowed deeper into his embrace, his eyelashes fluttering as he slowly opened his eyes, only to collide with Shen Yu’s gaze, which was so gentle it felt like it would spill over with water.

He was scalded soft by this silent gaze, stunned for a moment before raising his hand to cover Shen Yu’s cheek, speaking in a hoarse voice:

“What are you staring at me for? Is there a flower on my face?”

Shen Yu didn’t speak, but his gaze softened even more.

Seeing this, Lu Zhiyan gently circled his waist, lowered his head, and burrowed into his embrace again. The tip of his nose gently rubbed past his Adam’s apple. His voice carried the laziness of just waking up, mixed with a bit of a coquettish tone:

“If you don’t speak, that’s agreeing? Then it’s only for you to look at.”

He felt Shen Yu’s fingertips gently curl behind his back, and then an extremely light kiss landed on the top of his head.

The corners of his mouth curved into a shallow arc of their own accord. He didn’t speak again, merely tightening his arms and hugging him even more firmly, as if wanting to make up for all the gentleness that had been missing over the years.

Shen Yu allowed him to be clingy, his fingertips gently combing through his somewhat messy hair, patient and indulgent. Not until Lu Zhiyan finally felt willing to raise his head did he lower his own, kissing away the wet, soft sleepiness at the corner of the other’s eyes. It was a touch-and-go kiss, yet it was sweet enough to reach the heart.

When the two stepped out of the hotel together, the breakfast shop at the end of the alley was already wafting out its fragrance. Fried dough sticks hissed in the oil, and the mellowness of soy milk drifted in the wind. They chose a window seat and sat down. Shen Yu ordered the sweet soy milk and crispy fried dough sticks that Lu Zhiyan loved to eat, and ordered a bowl of light millet porridge for himself.

Amidst the swirling heat, Lu Zhiyan watched Shen Yu lower his head to drink his porridge, watching the way his Adam’s apple bobbed gently. His fingertips unconsciously caressed the edge of the bowl, feeling incomparably at peace.

The meal was eaten quietly and comfortably. After paying the bill, Shen Yu spoke softly:

“I’m going back to the dorm to get some things. Would you mind waiting for me downstairs for a while?”

Lu Zhiyan’s heart skipped a beat; he instantly understood.

He nodded, followed Shen Yu into the campus, and watched Shen Yu’s figure disappear around the corner of the dorm building. Then he walked slowly to stand beneath a camphor tree, waiting for him patiently and obediently.

The early autumn wind carried the fresh scent of leaves, and sunlight filtered through the gaps in the foliage, casting fine, fragmented spots of light on the ground. Lu Zhiyan looked up at that familiar window, his thoughts unexpectedly drifting back to the days when he was still in Ji Chaoran’s body… Back then, he could only watch from behind the skin of another, watching helpless as Shen Yu ran about and suffered for his sake.

He remembered Shen Yu rushing thousands of miles to Beicheng just to see him for a single moment, remembered the thick stack of train tickets in the drawer, remembered that person’s fragile appearance while drinking porridge, remembered him enduring the pain of an alcohol allergy just to accompany customers for a drink, remembered him holding a hot mocha and telling him softly “I’m fine”…

Those images were like ice-quenched needles, stabbing into Lu Zhiyan’s heart, one by one, hurting until he could barely breathe. The him from back then was clearly brimming with apologies and heartache, yet he didn’t even have the qualification to reach out and give Shen Yu a hug. He could only stand in place, watching Shen Yu carry all the wind and rain alone, swallowing all the grievances and heartbreak into his own stomach.

A burst of sourness surged into his throat. Lu Zhiyan hurriedly raised his hand, quickly wiping away the moisture at the corners of his eyes.

“A’Yan.”

A familiar voice rang out beside him. Lu Zhiyan turned his head violently and saw Shen Yu standing not far away, gripping a somewhat worn velvet box in his hand. The roots of his ears were slightly red, and his gaze carried a hint of nervousness.

He quickly stepped forward. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] Shen Yu had already opened the box. Inside lay a cool white plain band ring, simple in style and wiped until it shone, glowing with a gentle luster in the morning light.

“Here.”

Shen Yu handed the small box to him. His knuckles were slightly pale, and his voice still hid a trace of imperceptible trembling.

Lu Zhiyan gazed at the emotions churning in the depths of his eyes, his throat rolling gently. He didn’t reach out to take it, but quietly raised his left hand, his fingertips curled slightly inward, and whispered:

“You put it on for me.”

Shen Yu’s breathing paused. His fingertips trembled slightly as he took the ring out of the box. The ice-cold metal glowed with a gentle light. He took Lu Zhiyan’s hand extremely lightly. The instant their palms pressed together, both of them were slightly stunned. He first used the pad of his finger to gently caress the other’s slightly cool knuckles, as if confirming this wasn’t a dream, and only then did he pinch the ring and slowly slide it in from the fingertip.

One joint, and then another.

The size was a perfect fit, exactly as if it had waited for him ten thousand times in the years that had passed, settling firmly at the root of Lu Zhiyan’s ring finger.

He raised his hand and shook it against the gentle morning light. The ice-cold touch of the ring against his skin scalded his heart. He looked up slightly at Shen Yu, the corners of his mouth curving. The smile brimming in his eyes seemed to be brimming with the entire starry sky:

“Does it look good?”

Shen Yu looked at him, watching the way the ring shone brilliantly at the root of his finger. He nodded forcefully, his eye sockets turning red again, yet he smiled until his brows and eyes curved, like a lake surface gently brushed by the spring breeze:

“It looks good.”

On the way to the train station by bus, the two held hands the entire time, ten fingers interlocked. The temperature of their palms was so hot neither could bear to let go.

The area in front of the ticket gate was bustling with noise. The broadcast repeated the ticket checking announcement over and over again, yet the noisy human voices couldn’t cover the emotions churning at the bottom of his heart. Lu Zhiyan tightly gripped his ticket, his gaze falling on Shen Yu. Thousands of words were blocked in his throat, and after turning it over and over again, he ultimately only softly spat out one sentence:

“I’m leaving.”

Shen Yu gave a low “Mhm” and nodded forcefully, yet didn’t dare to say another word. He was afraid that once he opened his mouth, the tears he had suppressed for a long time would uncontrollably fall.

Lu Zhiyan looked at his slightly reddened corners of his eyes. His heart tightened violently, and no longer caring about the gazes of others, he suddenly let go of the luggage in his hand, stepped forward in a large stride, and pulled Shen Yu tightly into his embrace. He buried his face in Shen Yu’s warm crook of his neck, his voice muffled, wrapped in a trace of imperceptible choking:

“I will miss you, A’Yu.”

As the words fell, he took a deep breath, slowly loosened his hands, and didn’t linger any longer. [Read on RanaTranslations🌸] Turning around, he dragged his luggage and walked quickly toward the ticket gate. Every few steps he took, he couldn’t help but turn back to look.

Shen Yu was still standing in the same spot, quietly waving at him. The afternoon sunlight spilled in through the train station’s skylight, falling onto his thin shoulders, gentle as a painting that one couldn’t bear to look away from.

This scene instantly overlapped with the memories of many years ago.

He remembered when he went abroad back then, Shen Yu was also standing in place like this with red eyes, silently watching him leave. Similar scenes, yet completely different states of mind. A sharp stabbing pain suddenly surged in Lu Zhiyan’s heart, and his tears could no longer be controlled as they slid down surgingly.

He waved forcefully at Shen Yu, the depths of his eyes churning with complexity and reluctance that the other person couldn’t understand. It wasn’t until that person’s figure was completely out of sight that he reluctantly withdrew his gaze, turned around resolutely, and walked toward the direction of the platform.

The train slowly pulled out of Haicheng. The scenery outside the window retreated little by little. Lu Zhiyan leaned against the window, raising his hand to look at the ring on his ring finger. The ice-cold metal pressed against his skin, scalding his heart both painfully and sweetly.

He thought, if he hadn’t willfully changed his major preferences back then, he could be together with Shen Yu now, attending the same classes, eating together, and watching all the scenery of the four seasons together in the university in Haicheng, instead of being like this now, separated by thousands of mountains and rivers.

But some things, in the end, could never be returned to…

Watching the constantly changing scenery outside the window, Lu Zhiyan’s fingertips gently caressed the fine texture on the ring. The confusion in the depths of his eyes faded bit by bit, replaced by a determination that had settled down.

For things that couldn’t be returned to, he would use the future to make up for them bit by bit. He calculated silently in his heart: after returning, he would go find the school and apply to compress the four years of coursework into two, and then direct for his doctorate.

He had to graduate as soon as possible, and stand firmly on his own two feet in society as soon as possible.

He wanted to give Shen Yu a home, an official future, the very best future that would never again have separations or grievances.